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Battle ROOKIES vs VETS: Yagerbomb vs cripplesunday1


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Old 01-11-2016, 03:20 PM   #1
Prelec
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ROOKIES vs VETS: Yagerbomb vs cripplesunday1


Yagerbomb vs cripplesunday1

-No need to check in, you know you need to battle and you know the deadline
-Send verses to me in a Private message
-If there is anything you need to know, ask them in the discussion thread, I'll respond ASAP
-If you decide to NOSHOW you will be BANNED from attending future events AND the RBL league for THREE months. I'm serious.

@Yagerbomb

Noshow. Banned from future events until 18/4/2016

@cripplesunday1

This'll probably be my only battle, cuz these nerds can't compete.
i'll do my shit, put a lid on it, thats a toilet seat.

My knife game, will end ya life lame, slice n maim.
i hated you as soon as i saw ya username.
Your troll game, a cause for disdain.
Wait, didn't you lose to funeral nick….hang your head in shame.

You changed ya name to haymaker, in a attempt to sound greater.
Got boyed off by funeral nick, and changed it back a day later.
That battle wasn't so much rap, more towards slapstick
I especially liked the part where you started mumbling like a spastic
If you and Nick sparred, that retard would've left you scarred
If i knock Yager over, its not just cuz i'm sloppy drunk at the bar.

I don't know if your Canadian, my research was poor.
you look like you come from a nice place, on that one i'm sure.
You say stupid shit, what a attention whore.
TEXT BATTLING DOSEN'T NEED YOUR KIND SOMEONE SHOW HIM THE DOOR!!!!!!!11!!!11!!!!
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Last edited by Prelec; 01-18-2016 at 01:34 PM.
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Old 01-22-2016, 12:40 PM   #2
Prelec
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@ledge @Ass Napkin Ed @King John @wyzdumb @Og Smokinstein @DJ Profit @KBomb @ekelon @Lebron Jereurghmy @Shadow @WestGotBars @mulatto mutant @CBA @Abstrakt @MFtastick @pityposter @Seanzo @Agent Orange @Throwback Mike @DonnaDaMom @JOBone @Thundah @FatManFromSpace @Letterman @Bar4Bar @MrMumbles905 @Profess @Schwarzer_Negger @Yagerbomb @cripplesunday1

this one doesnt have a single comment but yall can get 50 replies on Seanzo vs bobby bigelow?
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Old 01-22-2016, 06:38 PM   #3
wyzdumb
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wyzdumb is not the worst person
The opening was nice the rest of it just seemed threw together in a hurry.
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Old 01-22-2016, 09:39 PM   #4
cripplesunday1
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cripplesunday1 is better than Grind Time Antarcticacripplesunday1 is better than Grind Time Antarcticacripplesunday1 is better than Grind Time Antarcticacripplesunday1 is better than Grind Time Antarctica
I wrote it in a couple of hours or so.

To be honest reading the punchline style a lot of people use was a no go for me, would've been forced

I wrote double this as 16 lines on my notepad wasn't 16 lines in this cut a lot out. Meh....it is what it is.


Thanks for trying pre.
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Old 01-23-2016, 01:40 AM   #5
Shadowposter
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This'll probably be my only battle, cuz these nerds can't compete.
i'll do my shit, put a lid on it, thats a toilet seat.
Toilet seat/cant compete is a stretch but second line was funny

My knife game, will end ya life lame, slice n maim.
i hated you as soon as i saw ya username.
Your troll game, a cause for disdain.
Wait, didn't you lose to funeral nicků.hang your head in shame.
Haha losing to funeral nick is a shame. Maybe try making some kind of wordplay or joke here

You changed ya name to haymaker, in a attempt to sound greater.
Got boyed off by funeral nick, and changed it back a day later.
'boyed off' gets bonus points for British slang, again try to multi it with 'sound greater' and it'll hit harder

That battle wasn't so much rap, more towards slapstick
I especially liked the part where you started mumbling like a spastic
If you and Nick sparred, that retard would've left you scarred
If i knock Yager over, its not just cuz i'm sloppy drunk at the bar.
Last line was sick, build up was too long for a text battle - if you could do a 1-bar setup, that's hard

I don't know if your Canadian, my research was poor.
you look like you come from a nice place, on that one i'm sure.
You say stupid shit, what a attention whore.
TEXT BATTLING DOSEN'T NEED YOUR KIND SOMEONE SHOW HIM THE DOOR!!!!!!!11!!!11!!!!
Keystyle? I'm guessing the closer was a bit quick; doesn't hit too hard, but I get what you were doing

Definitely some good concepts, if you don't like punchliney styles, you could try incorporate more jokes, maybe some wordplay type jokes could be in there. Idk. Keep at it!
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