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Battle ckret306 vs Clarke KillingSouls


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ckret306 10 83.33%
Clarke KillingSouls 2 16.67%
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Old 05-12-2014, 04:45 PM   #1
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ckret306 vs Clarke KillingSouls

Let's go

@ckret306
we can all say you started a trend with your 5 line battles
they'd be as dope as conceiteds last grindtime battle

well.... let's have a TANKA BATTLE BRO

you're not killing souls
you do not have what it takes
you prey on the young
you only want what IT takes
you are truely a dick face

wanna battle in LIMERICKS DOGG!!!!??

there once was a faggot named clarke
twas clear from day one he's a tard
he wanted to battle
16 left him baffled
he said "let's just do five to start".......

don't bother us with your rhymes, four bars from you will bore us
i bet all your songs have 20 second verses n a 6 second chorus
you think short stories are too long and smart cars are enormous
i asked him to text battle he's like "12 lines? ill hit up caustic... im sure i can afford it."

@Clarke KillingSouls
Expo(s):
- "C-kret" or "Ckret" is pronounced "Se-cret" of course.
- Vote fair and thanks for coming.


Now, this is an embarrassing situation! Acceptin' my battle was this fairy's elimination!
Only time, "Ckrets'll get pass a-round" is if we were "spreading out terrible information!"

RMBVA watch enemies get ghost n' fade! My arrival is presenting these foes their graves!
See "Clarke's suited" for "exposin' Ckrets" without "revealing his identities to Lois Lane!"

Here's an fact: I'm creative with claims! But as for you!? That task's igranous n' plain!
So we'll "watch Ckrets getting PLAYED OUT" - after all, thats an "game of Charades!"

TRY PEEPING THIS LINER: Those pearly gates? That's where you'll be meetin' arrival!
How are you beastin' at rhymers? You're "scared to go in, C" prior to "Peter's disciples!"

Loser, your jokes soft! I dont mean "Hawiian greeting," when YOU get "A-LOW-HA!"
I'm ruthless, I told y'all! Pfft, he wouldn't "BREAK ME DOWN" like "excuses to votes wrong!"

Clarke's making mad jaws easily drop! Ckret gaining a win? Thats sure seems alot!
So if we'd see "hands pointing to 306" then it must be little a pass "Fourteen O' Clock!"
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Old 05-12-2014, 04:59 PM   #2
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good shit clarke. didnt know what tp expect but i have to say you brought it dogg. some dope name flips. props dude.
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Old 05-12-2014, 05:14 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ckret306 View Post
good shit clarke. didnt know what tp expect but i have to say you brought it dogg. some dope name flips. props dude.

Same to you too man, we both did great.
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Old 05-12-2014, 05:57 PM   #4
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Upping for votes.
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Old 05-12-2014, 07:08 PM   #5
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@ckret306
we can all say you started a trend with your 5 line battles
they'd be as dope as conceiteds last grindtime battle
lol oh dear its not looking good for clarke already
well.... let's have a TANKA BATTLE BRO

you're not killing souls
you do not have what it takes
you prey on the young
you only want what IT takes
you are truely a dick face
kinda light
wanna battle in LIMERICKS DOGG!!!!??

there once was a faggot named clarke
twas clear from day one he's a tard
he wanted to battle
16 left him baffled
he said "let's just do five to start".......
hahaha damn
don't bother us with your rhymes, four bars from you will bore us
i bet all your songs have 20 second verses n a 6 second chorus
you're killin me
you think short stories are too long and smart cars are enormous
i asked him to text battle he's like "12 lines? ill hit up caustic... im sure i can afford it."
set up was line of the battle, closer was ok, caustic thing is kinda played and i was dead from the smart cars are enormous

@Clarke KillingSouls
Expo(s):
- "C-kret" or "Ckret" is pronounced "Se-cret" of course.
- Vote fair and thanks for coming.
this was unneeded, people round here tend to vote fair regardless, and the explanation of his name was super unnecessary. with that being said, it may look like im being hard on you here, but thats because your new so the more i point out about your verse the more it can help you improve...

Now, this is an embarrassing situation! Acceptin' my battle was this fairy's elimination!
Only time, "Ckrets'll get pass a-round" is if we were "spreading out terrible information!"
first off, making the rhymes stand out isnt really needed, punch is nice, would have liked to see some multies though, the use of the word fairies without having it rhyme with anything just seemed weird, its hardly a hard diss calling him a fairy
RMBVA watch enemies get ghost n' fade! My arrival is presenting these foes their graves!
See "Clarke's suited" for "exposin' Ckrets" without "revealing his identities to Lois Lane!"
damn, nice stuff, multis on point
Here's an fact: I'm creative with claims! But as for you!? That task's igranous n' plain!
So we'll "watch Ckrets getting PLAYED OUT" - after all, thats an "game of Charades!"
punch is nice again, what does "igranous" mean though? is that a typo, i googled it and got nothing, the "heres an fact" should be "a fact", just to help shit read better
TRY PEEPING THIS LINER: Those pearly gates? That's where you'll be meetin' arrival!
How are you beastin' at rhymers? You're "scared to go in, C" prior to "Peter's disciples!"
this is an example of multies working against you, all the set up rhymes just seem very forced. "peeping this liner" and "beasting at rhymers" are not natural things to say. punch is ok, but rhymes really take away from it, sometimes less is more, its just finding a balance
Loser, your jokes soft! I dont mean "Hawiian greeting," when YOU get "A-LOW-HA!"
I'm ruthless, I told y'all! Pfft, he wouldn't "BREAK ME DOWN" like "excuses to votes wrong!"
the a low ha punch was real bad, just super forced and corny stuff, again the rhymes are there, but they just seem more like you wanted to rhyme rather than you had a punch and rhymed stuff with it. again "excuses to votes wrong" is not a natural sentence
Clarke's making mad jaws easily drop! Ckret gaining a win? Thats sure seems alot!
So if we'd see "hands pointing to 306" then it must be little a pass "Fourteen O' Clock!"
this is real bad lol, a little after fourteen o' clock would be 2:06 "mad jaws easily drop" again was super forced


ckret took this pretty easily, he played the bully an clowned dude real well, ive not laughed at a text battle so much before

clarke started off strong and probably was unlucky to be coming up against c whos one of the better new guys, and also unlucky in c was the first guy using the 5 bar battle angle and did it so well. you clear have a grasp of multis, but just need to not forced them too much, and same for punchlines, just try to be more natural with it. the first half of your verse was a real good debut, just unlucky that the second half went the way it did. as for things like the fourteen o' clock mistake, and the bad grammar (im a sucker for fucking this up too), just proof read your shit more.

all in all a read entertaining battle
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After battling a professional rapper like Dank and btw he's the only real professional I ever battled, I'm not going back to battling trash like this wack troll weirdo.
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Old 05-12-2014, 07:12 PM   #6
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Clarks much anticipated debut. Let's get ittttttt

@ckret306
we can all say you started a trend with your 5 line battles
they'd be as dope as conceiteds last grindtime battle
hahaha nice

well.... let's have a TANKA BATTLE BRO

you're not killing souls
you do not have what it takes
you prey on the young
you only want what IT takes
you are truely a dick face
I like the idea a lot but I feel like the execution could have been much better

wanna battle in LIMERICKS DOGG!!!!??

there once was a faggot named clarke
twas clear from day one he's a tard
he wanted to battle
16 left him baffled
he said "let's just do five to start".......
lmao. Idea and execution were on point here

don't bother us with your rhymes, four bars from you will bore us
i bet all your songs have 20 second verses n a 6 second chorus
you think short stories are too long and smart cars are enormous
i asked him to text battle he's like "12 lines? ill hit up caustic... im sure i can afford it."
Dang. Stayed on the same topic all battle but this ending four was mad funny. Props to that.

@Clarke KillingSouls
Expo(s):
- "C-kret" or "Ckret" is pronounced "Se-cret" of course.
- Vote fair and thanks for coming.


Now, this is an embarrassing situation! Acceptin' my battle was this fairy's elimination!
Only time, "Ckrets'll get pass a-round" is if we were "spreading out terrible information!"
Rhyming is nice. Ckret passed around/ pass a round is pretty corny

RMBVA watch enemies get ghost n' fade! My arrival is presenting these foes their graves!
See "Clarke's suited" for "exposin' Ckrets" without "revealing his identities to Lois Lane!"
ghost n' fade is pretty forced for the multi. Decent punch

Here's an fact: I'm creative with claims! But as for you!? That task's igranous n' plain!
So we'll "watch Ckrets getting PLAYED OUT" - after all, thats an "game of Charades!"
Igranous is not a word. Did you mean ignorant? Ignoramus? Punch was very nice though

TRY PEEPING THIS LINER: Those pearly gates? That's where you'll be meetin' arrival!
How are you beastin' at rhymers? You're "scared to go in, C" prior to "Peter's disciples!"
Rhyming was so forced here. Liner and rhymers? You can do better than that

Loser, your jokes soft! I dont mean "Hawiian greeting," when YOU get "A-LOW-HA!"
I'm ruthless, I told y'all! Pfft, he wouldn't "BREAK ME DOWN" like "excuses to votes wrong!"
The aloha punch belongs in a bad bar battle lol. Don't like the second line

Clarke's making mad jaws easily drop! Ckret gaining a win? Thats sure seems alot!
So if we'd see "hands pointing to 306" then it must be little a pass "Fourteen O' Clock!"
I like the idea of flipping 306. But shouldn't it be a little past fifteen o' clock??

This one is hard for me to judge. Ckret came with the jokes that mostly landed for me while clark tried to outbar him but had a lot of rough patches. What sealed it for me in the end was that I thought Ckret's verse was more consistent throughout. This is a solid debut clark. Work on making sure your punches are developed and make sense (14 o'clock one) and you will improve by leaps and bounds. Multis are nice but without really hard hitting punches, it's really is more of just a poem.
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But at least KOTD balances its unscrupulousness with some equitable intentions, like providing a few working-class men with a lawful income, whereas in this era more and more channels and media outlets are nothing but predatory tabloidesque trouble-makers.
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Old 05-12-2014, 07:19 PM   #7
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Good shit. @ckret306
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Old 05-12-2014, 07:20 PM   #8
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2-0 for Ckret306 tbh.

Last edited by Clarke KillingSouls; 05-12-2014 at 07:32 PM.
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Old 05-12-2014, 07:25 PM   #9
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This is what this feels like. Lol
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Old 05-13-2014, 05:04 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Clarke KillingSouls View Post
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Iu90z9Akxgk

This is what this feels like. Lol
Nah homie. ckret did a real good job of breaking down a dude who hasn't even battled yet. Your multis were mostly good but those won't win a text battle. Gotta punch punch punch.
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But at least KOTD balances its unscrupulousness with some equitable intentions, like providing a few working-class men with a lawful income, whereas in this era more and more channels and media outlets are nothing but predatory tabloidesque trouble-makers.
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Old 05-13-2014, 05:15 PM   #11
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Nah homie. ckret did a real good job of breaking down a dude who hasn't even battled yet. Your multis were mostly good but those won't win a text battle. Gotta punch punch punch.
thanks homie.

i appreciate the breakdowns too ! @Dank Schrader


lol i dunno if the tag'll work dont know how to do that shit.


lmao got it

Last edited by ckret306; 05-13-2014 at 05:18 PM.
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Old 05-13-2014, 05:41 PM   #12
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Nah homie. ckret did a real good job of breaking down a dude who hasn't even battled yet. Your multis were mostly good but those won't win a text battle. Gotta punch punch punch.
I did have punches. Theyre getting overlooked (for some reason imho) it seems like hate/biased, but anyways still I salute @ckret306 for coming through not to take anything away from you.
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Old 05-13-2014, 05:43 PM   #13
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Well, the votes are 3-0 on the polls. So, great battle and thanks for the feedback.
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Old 05-13-2014, 06:00 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Clarke KillingSouls View Post
I did have punches. Theyre getting overlooked (for some reason imho) it seems like hate/biased, but anyways still I salute @ckret306 for coming through not to take anything away from you.
Writing stuff like this isn't gonna do you any favours, of the 3 votes aginst you, 2 people (me and sucka) broke down your bars and explained why were weren't feeling some of your verse. Either take it on the chin and try and improve or keep acting like your gettin hate for being new.

Everyone need to learn what the site likes and doesn't (we tend to for the most part be all looking for the same things) I lost my first battle on some crazy 30ish votes to like 5 but I just sucked it up an took peoples comments on board to improve. Granted people took the piss a bit wioth your not understanding the bar counts, but that aint any reason for people to vote against you, shits judged on bars an ckret just had real good ammo on you


Also voting for yourself isn't agl
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After battling a professional rapper like Dank and btw he's the only real professional I ever battled, I'm not going back to battling trash like this wack troll weirdo.
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Old 05-13-2014, 06:04 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Clarke KillingSouls View Post
I did have punches. Theyre getting overlooked (for some reason imho) it seems like hate/biased, but anyways still I salute @ckret306 for coming through not to take anything away from you.
i agree you had some punches mang. i think why people are turnt off them is because of some of the setups.e the lois lane punch was heavy even tho superman concepts are kind of played it was a nice punch and a relevant set up. the game of charades was dope but the setup seemed like u made up a word to rhyme with... igranous? which takes away from the punch. the pearly gates shit was dope too but again the beastin at rhymers is kind of forced and takes away from the punch
not trying to be a dick or anything im just trying to help ya. i appreciate dope rhymes and you had some good shit just could have been presented a little better.

good luck in your futures battles dogg. you got potential for sure
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Old 05-13-2014, 06:11 PM   #16
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Question

Quote:
Originally Posted by Clarke KillingSouls View Post
Well, the votes are 3-0 on the polls. So, great battle and thanks for the feedback.
and if u voted for yourself to see the poll results there is a "view poll results" button under the poll so u can check results without voting. in case you didnt know.
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Old 05-13-2014, 06:11 PM   #17
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Originally Posted by ckret306 View Post
i agree you had some punches mang. i think why people are turnt off them is because of some of the setups.e the lois lane punch was heavy even tho superman concepts are kind of played it was a nice punch and a relevant set up. the game of charades was dope but the setup seemed like u made up a word to rhyme with... igranous? which takes away from the punch. the pearly gates shit was dope too but again the beastin at rhymers is kind of forced and takes away from the punch
not trying to be a dick or anything im just trying to help ya. i appreciate dope rhymes and you had some good shit just could have been presented a little better.

good luck in your futures battles dogg. you got potential for sure
Thanks man.
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Old 05-13-2014, 06:12 PM   #18
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Originally Posted by ckret306 View Post
and if u voted for yourself to see the poll results there is a "view poll results" button under the poll so u can check results without voting. in case you didnt know.
I didnt know that until now lol
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Old 05-13-2014, 08:27 PM   #19
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@riffic @Juicemw @CarnageFernz209 @Prelec @Cheddah12

tagging for votes.

give the new guy some feedback to if you all have time

thanks in advance!
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Old 05-13-2014, 08:39 PM   #20
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He voted for himself

instant win for ckret

Nah jk


I dont even need to give feedback to you ckret, I laughed the whole way trough.

CLARKE
Dont point out your rhymes in your verse
I like your rhyming but I miss the originality.


RAPBATTLE IS ABOUT HAVING FUN AND HURTING YOUR OPPONENT ( IMO )

I didnt see you having fun or hurting ckret in any good way, try to keystyle for yourself or drop some stuff in the cypher topic to get the hang of it more and see what style you like most to write(YOUR OWN STYLE OFCOURSE BUT YOU GET THE DEALIO)
And never ever say Cool bananas again


Vote Ckret but you have potential Clarke
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Old 05-13-2014, 08:42 PM   #21
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Its not always about hurting your opponents, its about credibility too.

And I accidentally voted for myself.
So its 4-0.
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Old 05-13-2014, 08:46 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by clarke killingsouls View Post
its not always about hurting your opponents, its about credibility too.

And i accidentally voted for myself.
So its 4-0.
i said yo

rapbattle is about having fun and hurting your opponent ( imo )

imo

imo

imo

i masturbate often


EDIT: STOP VOTING FOR YOURSELF
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Old 05-13-2014, 08:46 PM   #23
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lol I dunno man. This was a pretty good battle on both ends but maybe just maybe super slight edge to ckret.
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Old 05-13-2014, 08:48 PM   #24
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Clarke, are you from Let's Beef? I feel like your style is in line with that site, and we tend not to fuck with a lot of that dad joke scheme stuff that is popular there. Stuff like the "A-Low-Ha" word play is just...making bad puns. It's too Conceited-esque, and, tbh, it feels super dated. Those kind of puns are fun in conversation, but after the Bad Bars battle it's hard not to read them sarcastically.

Ckret, you didn't really write bars. I recommend you check out a bunch of battles in this section or the main stage in order to get a feel for what I mean by that. Main stage will have more consistency over material, and so that should help give you a better feel of how to write.

BTW, nothing I'm saying here is intended personally or as a reflection on either of you as writers or people. Just trying to help.
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and jewish people dont eat beef so ur definitely not right on that 1
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Old 05-13-2014, 09:54 PM   #25
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Clarke, are you from Let's Beef? I feel like your style is in line with that site, and we tend not to fuck with a lot of that dad joke scheme stuff that is popular there. Stuff like the "A-Low-Ha" word play is just...making bad puns. It's too Conceited-esque, and, tbh, it feels super dated. Those kind of puns are fun in conversation, but after the Bad Bars battle it's hard not to read them sarcastically.

Ckret, you didn't really write bars. I recommend you check out a bunch of battles in this section or the main stage in order to get a feel for what I mean by that. Main stage will have more consistency over material, and so that should help give you a better feel of how to write.

BTW, nothing I'm saying here is intended personally or as a reflection on either of you as writers or people. Just trying to help.

i feel ya.
the main reason im doing this is to help me work on bars/punches etc. so i appreciate the feedback. been peeping the main stage battles from the last event and am starting to see more of how these guys write. makes me feel dumb sometimes cuz of how well some of these guys can form their setups and punches. but yeah...

i think now that i got my name out there a bit im gonna take a step back and work on some tracks and stock pile some bars than i'll be back to start killing some of these main stagers! lol.
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Old 05-13-2014, 09:55 PM   #26
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You're "scared to go in, C" prior to Peters disciples


Was a punchline btw. Im saying he's scared to clown similar to Peters people from the bible who were afraid to walk on the "sea" with Jesus, to answer your ignorant question.

C-krets=C/Sea

But anyways mods close this, I got my ass handed to me.
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Old 05-13-2014, 10:03 PM   #27
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No the poll ends May 19th

so you stay there and wait

mkay
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Old 05-14-2014, 09:10 PM   #28
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I gave it to ckret, but it was a difficult battle to judge because of his weird formatting. I'm not even sure how many bars that's supposed to be. No individual lines really stood out in ckret's verse, but the way he clowned on Clarke was hilarious.

Clarke had some good concepts (the Lois Lane and Peter's disciples bars), but they weren't executed great. Especially with the Peter's disciples bar. If you're referencing Jesus walking on water, that's a weird way to word that line. Peter didn't have disciples, Jesus did. I know Peter went in the water first, but you could've presented that much better. Plus, I have no idea what "PEEPING THIS LINER" and "beastin' at rhymers" mean. That aloha bar was pretty cringeworthy too. There were some good ideas in there, but I didn't really like the way Clarke's verse was put together.
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this is like the KKK doing a track with 2PAC's Mom.
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Old 05-15-2014, 01:05 AM   #29
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Ckret, you didn't really write bars. I recommend you check out a bunch of battles in this section or the main stage in order to get a feel for what I mean by that. Main stage will have more consistency over material, and so that should help give you a better feel of how to write.
I'm pretty sure the middle 10 bars were mocking Clarke's 5 bar callouts - he wrote a tanka and a limerick (5 line poems), so I don't think they were really supposed to sound like bars

"you think short stories are too long and smart cars are enormous" = line of the battle

some nice stuff from both, ckret clearly took it. lmao @ A-LOW-HA
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Old 05-15-2014, 03:51 AM   #30
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Another guy claiming votes against him are hate.......
Surprise surprise...

Write good bars and you don't have to worry about that..
Ckret relatively easily...
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Old 05-15-2014, 03:54 AM   #31
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Another guy claiming votes against him are hate.......
Surprise surprise...

Write good bars and you don't have to worry about that..
Ckret relatively easily...
"Okay"
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Old 05-15-2014, 03:58 AM   #32
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@Loc see the faggotry your city produces?
Smmfh....
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Old 05-15-2014, 05:03 AM   #33
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@Loc see the faggotry your city produces?
Smmfh....
Smh too. He's from East Dallas, which is rich. I'm from all over, including south and Lancaster.
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Old 05-15-2014, 05:29 AM   #34
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Actually North Dallas is rich. East is more middle class/poor.
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Old 05-15-2014, 05:49 AM   #35
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ckret was pretty funny, took some good angles, the lines seemed a lil' short.

Clarke had some good bars and multis, but since igranous isn't a real word and the fourteen o'clock closer doesn't work, (fourteen o'clock is 2pm not 3) I give the slight edge to ckret

@ckret306 what you got planned up next in the textbattle world?
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Old 05-15-2014, 07:17 AM   #36
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ckret was pretty funny, took some good angles, the lines seemed a lil' short.

Clarke had some good bars and multis, but since igranous isn't a real word and the fourteen o'clock closer doesn't work, (fourteen o'clock is 2pm not 3) I give the slight edge to ckret

@ckret306 what you got planned up next in the textbattle world?
Honestly, I wasnt thinking. I was rushing at the last moment tbh. Fifteen O Clock is what I meant to say but I guess I didnt edit or proofread as I sent it. And "ignoranous" is the real word I think, I just shortened it as "igranous" just because. I wrote this all in one hour, so I tried.

But thanks for the reading and voting.
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Old 05-15-2014, 07:58 AM   #37
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Honestly, I wasnt thinking. I was rushing at the last moment tbh. Fifteen O Clock is what I meant to say but I guess I didnt edit or proofread as I sent it. And "ignoranous" is the real word I think, I just shortened it as "igranous" just because. I wrote this all in one hour, so I tried.

But thanks for the reading and voting.
I write my stuff within 10 minutes and my grammar is perfectly fine
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Old 05-15-2014, 08:39 AM   #38
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I write my stuff within 10 minutes and my grammar is perfectly fine
Its a bit more complicated when you're typing at night sleepy as fuh and also trying to bring in heavy content.
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Old 05-15-2014, 09:18 AM   #39
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Its a bit more complicated when you're typing at night sleepy as fuh and also trying to bring in heavy content.
Its a bit more complicated to not write in your native language.
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Old 05-15-2014, 11:33 AM   #40
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Its a bit more complicated when you're typing at night sleepy as fuh and also trying to bring in heavy content.
Clarke man I know you still in pgs and I have been giving you a hard time...
But on the real if you are building the name up you have to write more then an hour..
Its time consuming if it isn't your thing I understand but to get more votes and raise up you gotta put a few bars that are craaazy and make a name doesn't matter who you face destroy them but take time and write, read the mainstage to grasp what we typically look for..

I hate you but I like to help all the text battlers.. We kind of our own group in this section..

You got potential man but don't be a bald Jew and hate on the voters some may be harsh and not helpful but fuck it use it as inspiration to kill em..

I'm on like 6 klonopins right now so I'm like full of thoughts and to happy to hate man..

Just practice, read the main stage, develop your own unique style without getting to far off the shit we like..
You maybe be from Dallas but still Texas gotta stick together over these non rapping Indiana wanna bes nawwwwimmmmmsayin
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