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Battle RMBVA Presents Secret Slaughter: Red vs. Green - When Worlds Collide


View Poll Results: Who won?
efarrell 9 50.00%
thatguy 9 50.00%
Voters: 18. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 12-10-2016, 01:01 AM   #1
KBomb
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RMBVA Presents Secret Slaughter: Red vs. Green - When Worlds Collide

In this crazy finale to our epic Secret Slaughter event, we bring two veteran battle heads together representing different arenas of the battle world: @thatguy showing out for the text battle heads and welcoming rising star in the real world battle scene, @efarrell , into his first RMBVA text battle card. In this literal clash of the titans, which heavyweight will emerge victorious??


efarrell - RD 1


Aight ima say some shit like...

its bout that time for that guy, ask why/
cus he pissed off superman, which got me feelin "mad fly"/
ill pop lock on his moms block just to swag by/
then top off with an "odd job".. that means ill let a cap fly/

*takes off top hat and lobs it into crowd which decapitates detour and lands perfectly on mystique's head*

plus ill pistol whip you til my gun got a bruised handle/
lookin fresh while crossin lines like a new flannel/
raps alone ill have his happy little mood cancelled/
cus what im cookin shows guy fear E.. thats the food channel!!/

*spikes already bleached blonde hair... Crowd roars*

I'm just all about a band like the movie Spinal Tap/
dudes with no talent still get hit with mills/ thats a viral rap/
I'll take a couple cones the head like a Vikings hat/
Shoot you with your own piece, then sell your dad the rifle back/

I'm fuckin different, like having sex and switching positions/
Encrypted text- you can't to shit with my writtens/
So go and spit that weak shit, and be proud of that trash/
While I spend that waste of 16 bars counting my cash/

*pulls out a wad of cash the size of the almanac from back to the future and counts out loud thru his entire round*


thatguy - RD 1


Haven't even met the Homey yet - like my name Bouvier
He can pick the spot off the bat, but Babe Ruth he aint
This could get uglier in Manchester than Wayne Rooney's face
... or I could get to stackin boxes up in Van - today's movin day

Catch him rollin solo - without his crew then he's hopeless
Show him power in numbers like I'm usin exponents
so many cals burnin, I lost ten pounds this mornin
more animals in the cut than the Pet Sounds recordin

Since he bound to book for protection like a hardback edition,
I'm puttin paper on his head like a Carnac prediction
He probably assumes it bound to blow over - like a drunk driver...
'till I'm back swingin fists over the green like a young Tiger

You known for comin up online - call it Godwin's law
but ya style bitin the streets - so ima stomp his jaw
plus your punches 'land far apart' like it was after Pangaea
mine connectin for the W - that's Cassiopeia

efarrell - RD 2


I said yo

*untucks sweater revealing a massive .45 caliber handgun in a cowhide holster on my waistline*

This round right here gon be all gun bars/
Cuz like golfing on an underwater vessel, you flo subpar/
Just the type I wanna shoot in the face/
Even if you got nothing, I'll roll up and squeeze- that's a tube of toothpaste/

*throws empty tube of toothpaste on the ground, someone yells "get em some Colgate"*

fuck around and get you robbed for a stack of change/
Like I'm warmin hands up by a fire, I'll clap the flame/
Since you a rival (arrival) it ain't an airport, when I tag ya frame/
And What's revolvin got me picking up a case like a baggage claim/

*pretends to pick up luggage*

get outta pocket with that lyin(lion), bullets flyin -Matt Stafford/
You ain't ever in the streets, you a backpacker/
I got a big 2 piece strap for your ass like fat bastard/
That'll knock off a joker on cam- mad hatter!!!/

*DNA pose like a rocket launcher grip*

BLOAW... that's the sound of a loud ass gun in ya mouth/
Get ya bell rung like dinner when ya mother come out/
I ain't fucking about... So keep playing with boi/
Cuz it ain't a squirt gun when I spray you with the toy/


thatguy - RD 2


true story...

thatguy: here's my 16 just as promised, I hope it drops tonight
kbomb: e.fuckhead wrote three rounds. can we compromise?
thatguy: he over the card limit like it got declined!
fuck it, since this my first 48... we gon turn this to a HOMOCIDE

If this what the fans demand ta see, then this a bonus, son...
Not one for slow it downs - so this my only one. I said Domantas. See? This Sabonis' son.
You got a face FOR text battles - so I don’t wanna trade places.
I’m the face OF text battles - talkin this sheeeiiit longer than Clay Davis

Homer Simpson coachin football - It’s gonna be fun to cut him
guess it’s more like a tennis score - I got love for nothin
you in the cage with a g - Chris n snoop in the pigeon coop
but the ultrasound results are in and I can see the bitch in you

you hit the kush n the blow, and try to cushion the blow with that?
treat his windpipe like his logic - I’m puttin holes in that
the barrel lee' yo lookin like leo tried to fight a bear
Then upload a mannequin challenge of him just lyin there

efarrell - RD 3


yall brought a seasoned text rapper to a seasoned vet/
plus i keep a tech so dont act like we aint even yet/
im an animal gettin green off top like a chia pet/
thats why ya wife domes me up like she dont need a neck/

*points to non-existent wife in non-existent text battle crowd*

*crowd goes crazy, wife blushes and pretends to use bathroom, 2 minute reaction ensues*

she got a double chin tho so can suck and still blow/
at the same damn time, which is fuckin ill bro/
she takes mad dicks, layin on her back shit/
The type that any dude would wife... Well Any dude who's into fat chicks/

*disgusted face*

I got drug money the same size as skyscrapers/
That means my paper high, but for the sake of rhymes its high paper/
A neck shot a have thatguy breathe like that guy vader/
Cuz the read beam lookin like a Sith lightsaber/

*sips henny*

This what happens when you drunk post on battle forums/
I keep a blade and barrel like captain Morgan/
So go run for ya life, you don't provide the same pace/
And At an art school you still couldn't find a safe space/

thatguy - RD 3


3rd round and this already over - where's the champagne at?
If you think we're 'tied goin in' - you can't explain that!
Since we in the ring… I brought a folding chair – so let e choose his fate.
Two choices: take a seat or take a seat to the face

Up here in Canada we known for roadhockey - drop the gloves if ya start somethin
salute for reppin the bva but I’m keepin the net movin like a car comin
we might look the same on the board, like synchronized diving
but to me, you food e, like you into fine dining

aint nothin ya girl would not offer me...
she be prayin for the d - hardly got off her knees
fucked 'till daylight, put my spawn on her then nod off to sleep
... and woke up to head in the sheets like the godfather scene

His blow up doll the only time he's airin a ratchet
Plus he known to snitch so fast only Harry can catch him
So it's axe to his face until they barely can match it
leave the weapon there in the casket, that's how I bury the hatchet
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Originally Posted by ErikForeman View Post
scooby doo line was nice no lie

but con go line made a don demarco come out my speakers for no reason

Last edited by KBomb; 12-10-2016 at 03:49 AM.
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Old 12-10-2016, 01:30 AM   #2
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thatguy is better than Grind Time Antarcticathatguy is better than Grind Time Antarcticathatguy is better than Grind Time Antarcticathatguy is better than Grind Time Antarcticathatguy is better than Grind Time Antarctica
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someone explain to me how having your little sister's kiddiepictures is an insult?
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Originally Posted by I am LIL ILL View Post
Dizaster is my most favorite battle rapper of all time.
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Old 12-10-2016, 01:44 AM   #3
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we'll do it live! FUCK IT! LOL! yeah the text battle be better on audio.
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Ain't no real rappers that want to step to me Son! Theses rappers are more softer than a sesame seed bun. Speaking of seeds Star Almighty's Mom is digesting these nuts and up next to roast you guys is ekelon nope forget it he sucks!
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Old 12-10-2016, 02:19 AM   #4
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Holy shit
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Originally Posted by uuuununnn View Post
honestly i dont even watch battles , i listen to the audio while staring into the mirror at my own reactions
Keep the the left field stuff ➡️here⬅️, plz & thx

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Well thanks, I don't know how long this will last, but if you let me post I won't let you down...
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also the Venn diagram of people who wanna hear me use venn diagrams to explain things and people who care what I have to say, is nearly a perfect circle so I dunno what's what anymore....
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Old 12-10-2016, 02:20 AM   #5
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Wowwwww, 3 rounds!!!





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Old 12-10-2016, 01:01 PM   #6
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Battle of the event, will vote soon
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Old 12-10-2016, 01:29 PM   #7
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damn i've been tryna put something together with the roll up and squeeze shit ayday this past week... sum like "i roll up and squeeze like the toothpaste near empty/ in the clear bentley/ all i see is sheer envy (CLEAR bentley - SHEER envy)." My bad tho, it's ya'll battle. Real good shit.
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Old 12-10-2016, 06:38 PM   #8
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thatguy is better than Grind Time Antarcticathatguy is better than Grind Time Antarcticathatguy is better than Grind Time Antarcticathatguy is better than Grind Time Antarcticathatguy is better than Grind Time Antarctica
@SuckaFreeCashier @SonnyDaze @riffic @JShazo @The Kurgan @Seanzo @ErikForeman @6000GP @LukeWaltonisGoat @Ass Napkin Ed @SpecialOh @Dank Schrader @larry word @RickyProehl @illipsis @ledge @KinCalm @Jimbo Slice @Gopher D'Gusto @mdk @KBomb @BattleRapChris @StabYourself @Prelec @culturedboy @Bobby Bigelow @Loc @TomB @The Saurus @ux9 u so fine @mulatto mutant @MrMumbles905 @Profess @youdontwannabethatguy @CBA

need you all to turn up asap!


@Throwback Mike i say this with no hyperbole: your two favourite battlers just had a battle youre missin out

shoutout @efarrell shit was nice

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Originally Posted by Nick Vayne View Post
someone explain to me how having your little sister's kiddiepictures is an insult?
Quote:
Originally Posted by I am LIL ILL View Post
Dizaster is my most favorite battle rapper of all time.

Last edited by thatguy; 12-11-2016 at 08:50 AM.
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Old 12-10-2016, 06:49 PM   #9
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RMBVA Presents Secret Slaughter: Red vs. Green - When Worlds Collide

@efarrell got Round 1 pretty handily. @thatguy came back hard as ever in the subsequent rounds, though he might genuinely be the best onsite. Also, @efarrell is probably the only person who can do that whole *crowd reacts x or y way* mid-round and not come across as corny.

This is battle of the event, really. I might not even do a breakdown I implore everyone on the forum to go read this 100% on their own.
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i'm at the point in life where i log in here once a week to bother people in the recent threads n dip. rest in peace ux9

Quote:
Originally Posted by ux9 u so fine
CIA does nit worry me , report me to the FDA and see what happens
Quote:
Originally Posted by mulatto mutant
i just wrote 16 on the shitter what happened to real hip hop
Quote:
Originally Posted by LukeWaltonisGoat View Post
I'd watch cal battle a fucking Nintendo
Quote:
Originally Posted by mulatto mutant
u might pocket check erik but u wouldnt pull up on t top, the nigga built like a uzi in human forms
Quote:
Originally Posted by acidzero View Post
dre dennis hit my phone, i was gettin some head
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Originally Posted by NormFromOTBVA View Post
your 5 sigs look horrendous
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Old 12-10-2016, 07:10 PM   #10
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@thatguy I thought all 3 of your rounds were fire bro not that E's weren't but that first was the perfect warm up round had hella bars in there but still could tell you had more shit in the bag that first I gave to Ferrell with in the back of my mind knowing TG got some shit

I was all the way on the fence about the rest of the battle/winner until those last 8 bro that shit was hitting every bar and then that bury the hatchet closer had me like yeah that nigga cooked
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what in the pg-stepping fuck are we doing with Dre Dennis, b?
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you are the sturdy femurs that keep this forum upright

@I am LIL ILL is the heart
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Old 12-10-2016, 07:13 PM   #11
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alright hold the fucking phone what does this have to do with red vs green
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i'm at the point in life where i log in here once a week to bother people in the recent threads n dip. rest in peace ux9

Quote:
Originally Posted by ux9 u so fine
CIA does nit worry me , report me to the FDA and see what happens
Quote:
Originally Posted by mulatto mutant
i just wrote 16 on the shitter what happened to real hip hop
Quote:
Originally Posted by LukeWaltonisGoat View Post
I'd watch cal battle a fucking Nintendo
Quote:
Originally Posted by mulatto mutant
u might pocket check erik but u wouldnt pull up on t top, the nigga built like a uzi in human forms
Quote:
Originally Posted by acidzero View Post
dre dennis hit my phone, i was gettin some head
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Originally Posted by NormFromOTBVA View Post
your 5 sigs look horrendous
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Old 12-10-2016, 07:14 PM   #12
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e farrell has a red name and thatguy has a green, wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow
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i'm at the point in life where i log in here once a week to bother people in the recent threads n dip. rest in peace ux9

Quote:
Originally Posted by ux9 u so fine
CIA does nit worry me , report me to the FDA and see what happens
Quote:
Originally Posted by mulatto mutant
i just wrote 16 on the shitter what happened to real hip hop
Quote:
Originally Posted by LukeWaltonisGoat View Post
I'd watch cal battle a fucking Nintendo
Quote:
Originally Posted by mulatto mutant
u might pocket check erik but u wouldnt pull up on t top, the nigga built like a uzi in human forms
Quote:
Originally Posted by acidzero View Post
dre dennis hit my phone, i was gettin some head
Quote:
Originally Posted by NormFromOTBVA View Post
your 5 sigs look horrendous
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Old 12-10-2016, 07:14 PM   #13
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Ok this was solid

Farrell actually raps like this its great reading it in his voice and i was impressed

That guy had those references i love the carnac shit was done real well love how he worded it i also love the tiger reference love golf x3

With that said i didnt like the godwins law one i had to look it up but think that coylda been done better thought it felt like you just wanted to put it in there but wheres the adolph wordplay i woulda liked you to form that into the best adolph 8 off punch in history by tying ing the godwins law (see benfords law probably my beat punch no homo)

Still gonna edge that guy by a hair bc of style preference but real close
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Old 12-10-2016, 07:34 PM   #14
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thatguy is better than Grind Time Antarcticathatguy is better than Grind Time Antarcticathatguy is better than Grind Time Antarcticathatguy is better than Grind Time Antarcticathatguy is better than Grind Time Antarctica
Quote:
Originally Posted by RickyProehl View Post
With that said i didnt like the godwins law one i had to look it up but think that coylda been done better thought it felt like you just wanted to put it in there but wheres the adolph wordplay i woulda liked you to form that into the best adolph 8 off punch in history by tying ing the godwins law
ya youre right i couldnt quite get it worded right no matter how i framed it. i liked the concept... ended up pushed back to setup
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Originally Posted by Nick Vayne View Post
someone explain to me how having your little sister's kiddiepictures is an insult?
Quote:
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Dizaster is my most favorite battle rapper of all time.
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Old 12-10-2016, 08:25 PM   #15
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That guy is too good
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But at least KOTD balances its unscrupulousness with some equitable intentions, like providing a few working-class men with a lawful income, whereas in this era more and more channels and media outlets are nothing but predatory tabloidesque trouble-makers.
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Old 12-10-2016, 08:36 PM   #16
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riffic is pushing for a PG battleriffic is pushing for a PG battleriffic is pushing for a PG battleriffic is pushing for a PG battleriffic is pushing for a PG battleriffic is pushing for a PG battleriffic is pushing for a PG battleriffic is pushing for a PG battleriffic is pushing for a PG battleriffic is pushing for a PG battleriffic is pushing for a PG battle
Still need to find time to read but going off the names it's a classic
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megadef #wishes he could go back and unexpose himself as a mama nice try plumptits this is lower than when you slithered your way into the moonbounce at the Colorado Cush Carnival and #popped it with ur fatness
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WE IN HERE NUTDOGS TURN UP. ii
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Old 12-10-2016, 09:24 PM   #17
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I'm def fucking with this, but I'ma need a bit more time. This shit already certified ah
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Quote:
Originally Posted by uuuununnn View Post
honestly i dont even watch battles , i listen to the audio while staring into the mirror at my own reactions
Keep the the left field stuff ➡️here⬅️, plz & thx

Quote:
Originally Posted by ekelon View Post
Well thanks, I don't know how long this will last, but if you let me post I won't let you down...
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Wrist View Post
also the Venn diagram of people who wanna hear me use venn diagrams to explain things and people who care what I have to say, is nearly a perfect circle so I dunno what's what anymore....
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Old 12-11-2016, 09:36 AM   #18
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bump for real though
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Originally Posted by ErikForeman View Post
scooby doo line was nice no lie

but con go line made a don demarco come out my speakers for no reason
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Old 12-11-2016, 01:24 PM   #19
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Voted That guy wasn't expecting a 3 rounder
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Old 12-11-2016, 03:03 PM   #20
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Thought @thatguy took this pretty comfortably.

As a first time viewer of this stuff y'all put out a solid event and made a new fan. Good shit to all involved. @KBomb
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Old 12-11-2016, 03:43 PM   #21
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Thought @thatguy took this pretty comfortably.

As a first time viewer of this stuff y'all put out a solid event and made a new fan. Good shit to all involved. @KBomb
@KBomb can my nigga S Town get a pg or a one off?
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what in the pg-stepping fuck are we doing with Dre Dennis, b?
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you are the sturdy femurs that keep this forum upright

@I am LIL ILL is the heart
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Old 12-11-2016, 05:24 PM   #22
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no doubt, next card lets get it
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scooby doo line was nice no lie

but con go line made a don demarco come out my speakers for no reason
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Old 12-11-2016, 07:00 PM   #23
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Round 1
E Farrels started crazy I liked the first half of the first round 2nd half fell off for me
thatguy had a few cool punches but overall the round wasn't as good
Give that clear to E farrel

Round 2
Pretty good round nothing that made me think crazy but nothing that fell off either
that guys opener was fucking crazy I liked the whole again of the true story
I really liked thatguys whole round there.
I edge that to thatguy


Very strong round from Efarrel
Some punches head before but went over well

thatguy
net moving like the car coming

I thought guy more original he took that round

2-1 to thatguy
sick battle
few spelling mistakes from e too lol
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Old 12-11-2016, 07:11 PM   #24
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Thanks for asking for this review. I gave it a quick look the other day and I gave it another look today. So now I'm wondering what everyone thinks about 3 rounders. My opinion is there isn't enough backstory to warrant reading 3 rounds. In other words, if 3 round text battles is to become a thing then we'll need some promo. Anyway, back to the review. I gave this to Thatguy because I liked his style better here. It was hectic and unpredictable, and a surprise when the punch came. Farrell is really good at what he does, but it felt like I was ready a nursery rhyme and although the punches were dope, then were telegraphed. All that said, I'm on the fence about the ad-libs.. they were kind of cool because it ads a performance aspect, but they might have been overdone. either that or Farrell just completely changed the text game. Good shit
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Old 12-11-2016, 07:28 PM   #25
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So now I'm wondering what everyone thinks about 3 rounders. My opinion is there isn't enough backstory to warrant reading 3 rounds. In other words, if 3 round text battles is to become a thing then we'll need some promo.
yeah Im not that big on it either tbh. that 'true story' is basically what actually happened so i wrote two more rounds this week. did it for the culture and cause i didnt want farrell to have to cut his shit. appreciate everyone who gets through all of this and gives feedback. its a good read tho imho
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Old 12-11-2016, 08:30 PM   #26
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3 rounds?
fuck yall
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Old 12-11-2016, 09:19 PM   #27
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Wowwwww this shit was crazy. Farrell won
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Old 12-11-2016, 09:38 PM   #28
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classic shit

got thatguy 2-1 with farrel edging the second but the third was also kinda close too imo so i dont mind anyone saying farrel 2-1

dope ass battle man
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Old 12-12-2016, 12:38 AM   #29
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CRAZY!

Gave it to @thatguy 2-1, @efarrell got the 1st, but he also bodied me and I'm still in my feelings about it. Will give it another read and strive for objectivity doe

Goes without saying that this is a game changer and a new classic, would actually love to see the 3 round format pop up for the main event of marquee events moving forward
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Old 12-12-2016, 12:41 AM   #30
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efarrell is not the worst person
Shoutout @thatguy ... Boi went off on me, one of the toughest battles I've done all year

Sent from my VS985 4G using Tapatalk
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Old 12-12-2016, 03:41 AM   #31
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Dammmm
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Old 12-12-2016, 03:41 AM   #32
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efarrell is not the worst person
Wait was I only supposed to write one round
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Old 12-12-2016, 05:35 AM   #33
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Lmao Farrell killed this
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Old 12-12-2016, 05:51 AM   #34
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I'd edge all 3 to Farrell, but both came with fire. Thatguy (unintentionally?) bit a bender line from his battle with Thesaurus (kush and the blow/cushion the blow)

Definitely a fun one, like that text battles are getting poppin again
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Old 12-12-2016, 06:35 AM   #35
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Wait was I only supposed to write one round
That's what I thought but it worked out better this way.

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Old 12-12-2016, 06:42 AM   #36
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That's what I thought but it worked out better this way.

Tru dat.

We put on a clinic. Ima need your PayPal info too.
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Old 12-12-2016, 06:45 AM   #37
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