View Poll Results: Who won?
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The Kurgan
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2 |
25.00% |
illipsis
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6 |
75.00% |
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12-08-2016, 11:04 PM
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#1
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2dope4you
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Chicago
Posts: 7,098
Mentioned: 1551 Post(s)
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RMBVA Presents Secret Slaughter: The Overseas Onslaught
What high profile text battle card would be complete without a showing from our friends across the pond in the U.K.? This penultimate entry in the legendary Secret Slaughter event features one of our best text heads from England (I think?), The Kurgan, against one of our own homegrown battlers who has gone on a killing streak in the actual ring, illipsis. Will The Kurgan's witty flow and vicious punches be the difference maker? Or will illipsis bring enough of his top notch writing and schemes to take the W?
@ The Kurgan
Ill's chick only gives me a slight erection
Too basic to fuck with; Prime Directive
'Way she suck pipe's expensive' WAS my perspective
But now I'm over-the-head-game like it's isometric
Still she told the crew smash and they turned the whore out
Made the whole gang split like 'We can cover more ground!'
Now her X man seeing red on some Cyclops shit
So I got the green light to run through him: Qui Gon Jin
Your watch a Casio, my watch a Roly
Cos I'm scoring all 'The Dollars' like Morricone
I run shit in your city, know that I'm cold saggin
Yeah, I'm the new Van dealer: Volkswagon
Bucketloads of yay, we move that food
Famous for the China 'stash like Fu Manchu
Playas get replaced and no one notices: Blue Man Group
Cos I'm the Newman for the role like Cool Hand Look
@ illipsis
He agreed to do this on cam, I guess yes means no
Cuz he ducked tape in a fix like the Red Green Show (FACTUAL SITUATION!)
This red/green, shows that I have to wreck amateurs
I’mma leave him six feet deep, that’s iambic hexameter (DAMN!)
Got something sharp up my sleeves like it’s Ezio’s wrists (OKAY!)
You get beat until you missing like the metronome skipped (WOW!)
The power getting to my head, just like Tetsuo’s did (oookay…)
Catch me Solo with a brick ‘n the desert like it’s Episode 6 (DAMN!!!)
I been a monster up North, I’m on my Wendigo shit (FUCK BIGFOOT!)
The snub nose up close, he get an Eskimo kiss (*muzzle nuzzle*)
K you soft, I hit your girl and made her take the log (WITH HER EXPRESS CONSENT THOUGH!)
Threw your highland bitch the wood, I’d say it ain’t a caber toss (CRAZY!)
Said that we would win, I bet this guy felt stupid
Cuz I’ll never see defeat like Rob Liefeld drew it (POUCHES!)
Arcane lore, I show him how it’s supposed to be done,
I took the Kurgan’s head off: there can only be one (I THINK, BEFORE MY TIME!!!)
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by ErikForeman
scooby doo line was nice no lie
but con go line made a don demarco come out my speakers for no reason
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12-08-2016, 11:09 PM
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#2
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Whiskey for breakfast.
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 3,409
Mentioned: 46 Post(s)
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*puts another shot of Jim into the glass* Let's do this.
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12-08-2016, 11:14 PM
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#3
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Whiskey for breakfast.
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 3,409
Mentioned: 46 Post(s)
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Verse of the battle:
Bucketloads of yay, we move that food
Famous for the China 'stash like Fu Manchu
Playas get replaced and no one notices: Blue Man Group
Cos I'm the Newman for the role like Cool Hand Look
Fucking fire, @ The Kurgan
Overall, I give the slight W to @ illipsis
Y'all fuckers are killin' this text battle shit lately, salute! My interest is piqued again.
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12-08-2016, 11:24 PM
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#4
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 1,960
Mentioned: 290 Post(s)
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Right first off I think (hope) K-Bomb is joking but no I'm not english.
2nd off I never ducked a cam battle (although I would have if you'd only asked).
3rd off  at Illipsis' bars
__________________
The Liam Neeson of being decent
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12-08-2016, 11:39 PM
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#5
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Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,870
Mentioned: 768 Post(s)
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this event changin the game!
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nick Vayne
someone explain to me how having your little sister's kiddiepictures is an insult?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by I am LIL ILL
Dizaster is my most favorite battle rapper of all time.
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12-08-2016, 11:40 PM
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#6
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Battle Rapper
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 3,554
Mentioned: 135 Post(s)
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This battle was flames!! It's become a constant theme of this event tho
@ The Kurgan you came out the gate punchin crazy you had fire shit all through your verse but I think the shit that made me tip the battle your way was the way you setup and delivered
"Let the whole gang split like, We can cover more ground"
I'm a huge fan of simple fire punches lol flames
@ illipsis your verse was fucking fire too! This shit was damn near too close to call I think overall Kurgan had just a couple haymakers that hit harder.. But I feel like your verse as dope as it was would of landed better with you performing it vs reading it
So on paper I take TK but if we translated this to a real life battle I think ill gets that clear
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by culturedboy
what in the pg-stepping fuck are we doing with Dre Dennis, b?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by riffic
you are the sturdy femurs that keep this forum upright
@ I am LIL ILL is the heart
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12-09-2016, 12:36 AM
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#7
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Registered User
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 266
Mentioned: 37 Post(s)
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read twice, still havent voted
will think more on this later but FUCK this was battle of the event to me so far
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12-09-2016, 12:54 AM
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#8
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RYD ;
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: apartment c above the gogo spot
Posts: 10,925
Mentioned: 1472 Post(s)
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Still she told the crew smash and they turned the whore out
Made the whole gang split like 'We can cover more ground!'
I been a monster up North, I’m on my Wendigo shit (FUCK BIGFOOT!)
The snub nose up close, he get an Eskimo kiss (*muzzle nuzzle*)
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by peace
i have buddies who told me about a guy falling while snowboarding and injuring his ribs to the point that it messed up his breath control, so he had to sit out of his hobby for a few months. something tells me they were talking about psycoses.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wwjjddd?
WE IN HERE NUTDOGS TURN UP. ii
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12-09-2016, 12:55 AM
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#9
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RYD ;
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: apartment c above the gogo spot
Posts: 10,925
Mentioned: 1472 Post(s)
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first read result: I have no idea
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by peace
i have buddies who told me about a guy falling while snowboarding and injuring his ribs to the point that it messed up his breath control, so he had to sit out of his hobby for a few months. something tells me they were talking about psycoses.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wwjjddd?
WE IN HERE NUTDOGS TURN UP. ii
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12-09-2016, 12:56 AM
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#10
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Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,870
Mentioned: 768 Post(s)
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bar of the event contenders list is going to 10 pages long!!
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nick Vayne
someone explain to me how having your little sister's kiddiepictures is an insult?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by I am LIL ILL
Dizaster is my most favorite battle rapper of all time.
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12-09-2016, 01:00 AM
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#11
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Hal Jordan of Recordin'
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Oa
Posts: 1,823
Mentioned: 478 Post(s)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Kurgan
Right first off I think (hope) K-Bomb is joking but no I'm not english.
2nd off I never ducked a cam battle (although I would have if you'd only asked).
3rd off  at Illipsis' bars
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Yeah, that was a blatant fabrication  , I just threw that in when I saw they were billing this as the Red/Green match.
Absolutely gross writing my dude, that's a low-key body haha. The whole last four is constant screw face. You ever considered battling irl?
__________________
I said let's keep it one hundred, cuz this pansy's threatened
This is war and peace, laurel wreaths to a panzer engine
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12-09-2016, 02:53 AM
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#12
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Registered User
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 4,323
Mentioned: 16 Post(s)
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haha! I see you changing Luke to look to force the rhyme,Kurgan, but other than that and the Volkswagen punch,you took this pretty clearly IMHO
__________________
Autoloss list:
Saloon doors/ swinging, Michael Vick/ dogs, Charron gun bars, kids movie gun bars, Comparing a gun to a sports star with the same number, You get shot like INSERT PERSON WHO GOT SHOT, Comparing your gangsta to an animal (Wings/ falcon, long nose/ elephant etc), Whatcha know about..., Asians/ cooking cats, wearing bad clothes choices so you can rebuttal bars about it, Stone Cold/ cans...
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12-09-2016, 02:57 AM
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#13
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Registered User
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 4,323
Mentioned: 16 Post(s)
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and my tiny phone screen made me press the wrong vote, sigh!
__________________
Autoloss list:
Saloon doors/ swinging, Michael Vick/ dogs, Charron gun bars, kids movie gun bars, Comparing a gun to a sports star with the same number, You get shot like INSERT PERSON WHO GOT SHOT, Comparing your gangsta to an animal (Wings/ falcon, long nose/ elephant etc), Whatcha know about..., Asians/ cooking cats, wearing bad clothes choices so you can rebuttal bars about it, Stone Cold/ cans...
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12-09-2016, 04:18 AM
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#14
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NEVERcultured.com/tag/br
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,618
Mentioned: 120 Post(s)
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i started breaking this down and my computer's fans started breaking from all the heat i'm sorry guys
__________________
i write about battle rap for nevercultured
click the con face to learn yourself
Quote:
Originally Posted by ux9 u so fine
CIA does nit worry me , report me to the FDA and see what happens
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mulatto mutant
i just wrote 16 on the shitter what happened to real hip hop
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LukeWaltonisGoat
I'd watch cal battle a fucking Nintendo
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Quote:
Originally Posted by acidzero
dre dennis hit my phone, i was gettin some head
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12-09-2016, 05:08 AM
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#15
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Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,870
Mentioned: 768 Post(s)
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@ illipsis can you explain the Rob Liefeld bar
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nick Vayne
someone explain to me how having your little sister's kiddiepictures is an insult?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by I am LIL ILL
Dizaster is my most favorite battle rapper of all time.
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12-09-2016, 06:17 AM
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#16
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Hal Jordan of Recordin'
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Oa
Posts: 1,823
Mentioned: 478 Post(s)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thatguy
@ illipsis can you explain the Rob Liefeld bar
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I could, but I'd rather let my favourite article on the internet ever do it for me (#38 is the pertinent entry, but whole list is entertainment imo). http://www.progressiveboink.com/2012...efeld-drawings
tl;dr is that Rob Liefeld is often ridiculed for going to extreme lengths to avoid drawing characters' feet, and will tend to botch them horrendously even when he does make the attempt
__________________
I said let's keep it one hundred, cuz this pansy's threatened
This is war and peace, laurel wreaths to a panzer engine
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12-09-2016, 06:21 AM
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#17
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RYD ;
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: apartment c above the gogo spot
Posts: 10,925
Mentioned: 1472 Post(s)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by illipsis
I could, but I'd rather let my favourite article on the internet ever do it for me (#38 is the pertinent entry, but whole list is entertainment imo). http://www.progressiveboink.com/2012...efeld-drawings
tl;dr is that Rob Liefeld is often ridiculed for going to extreme lengths to avoid drawing characters' feet, and will tend to botch them horrendously even when he does make the attempt
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hahahahaha that is fucking next level
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by peace
i have buddies who told me about a guy falling while snowboarding and injuring his ribs to the point that it messed up his breath control, so he had to sit out of his hobby for a few months. something tells me they were talking about psycoses.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wwjjddd?
WE IN HERE NUTDOGS TURN UP. ii
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12-09-2016, 08:48 AM
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#18
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Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,870
Mentioned: 768 Post(s)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by illipsis
I could, but I'd rather let my favourite article on the internet ever do it for me (#38 is the pertinent entry, but whole list is entertainment imo). http://www.progressiveboink.com/2012...efeld-drawings
tl;dr is that Rob Liefeld is often ridiculed for going to extreme lengths to avoid drawing characters' feet, and will tend to botch them horrendously even when he does make the attempt
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ok ya I assumed it was something like that but when I googled him I kept seeing feat!
will vote tomorrow... still deciding...
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nick Vayne
someone explain to me how having your little sister's kiddiepictures is an insult?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by I am LIL ILL
Dizaster is my most favorite battle rapper of all time.
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12-09-2016, 01:08 PM
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#19
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2dope4you
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Chicago
Posts: 7,098
Mentioned: 1551 Post(s)
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it has come to my attention that the kurgan is indeed not english. in my defense, i am an idiot
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by ErikForeman
scooby doo line was nice no lie
but con go line made a don demarco come out my speakers for no reason
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12-09-2016, 01:37 PM
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#20
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VIP
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 3,610
Mentioned: 38 Post(s)
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Crazy battle i knew you were gonna say there can only be one at some point in this battle though haha
legit no idea who to give it to i'll vote in a bit
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12-09-2016, 02:24 PM
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#21
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Registered User
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 2,007
Mentioned: 699 Post(s)
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Kurg had a dope showing, and had his moments, but I think Illipsis outbarred him in the one...overall vote goes to illipsis tho.
sn: @ illipsis I need that textfade
__________________
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12-09-2016, 05:01 PM
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#22
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Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,870
Mentioned: 768 Post(s)
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ok so kurgan picked up steam as he went along. the opening 4 honestly didnt do much for me but by the time i got through the last 4 (fu manchu/blue man group...) i was spitting my drink out. that was crazy.
maybe just an advantage of goin 2nd but illipsis red/green bar hit heavy (even though i read later it was made up, at the time i believed it). i have no idea if people know the ref outside canada. illipsis just never let up from there so i ended up givin it to him. 4/4 great battles so far
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nick Vayne
someone explain to me how having your little sister's kiddiepictures is an insult?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by I am LIL ILL
Dizaster is my most favorite battle rapper of all time.
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12-09-2016, 05:24 PM
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#23
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We in here
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 10,523
Mentioned: 2903 Post(s)
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@ illipsis dropped that Rob Liefeld bar just for me, I feel. When i read it I slammed my hands against my desk and started laughing really hard
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by pityposter
Its called battle rap, not battle skin.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Water Mage
Hell yeah, about to smoke some weed from my special gandalf replica pipe and watch this
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SpecialOh;
and jewish people dont eat beef so ur definitely not right on that 1
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12-09-2016, 07:44 PM
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#24
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 1,960
Mentioned: 290 Post(s)
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@ KBomb it's all good my canuck friend.
@ Emancee lol I actually just somehow misspelled Luke. That's going to annoy me now. Thanks though.
@ illipsis Thanks for the battle and props, I think you got it though. Liefeld and caber toss bars were my favourites, but the whole thing was great.
As for battling irl, I'd have to branch out from writing 95% of my material about selling drugs, shooting guns and fucking bitches, and idk if I'm ready for that sort of commitment.
__________________
The Liam Neeson of being decent
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12-09-2016, 08:02 PM
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#25
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tupac back
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Northern California
Posts: 9,029
Mentioned: 567 Post(s)
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POWER TO THE PEOPLE, WE BACK TO DO MAINTENANCE
@ The Kurgan
Ill's chick only gives me a slight erection
Too basic to fuck with; Prime Directive
'Way she suck pipe's expensive' WAS my perspective
But now I'm over-the-head-game like it's isometric
Uh huh, I fux with it
Still she told the crew smash and they turned the whore out
Made the whole gang split like 'We can cover more ground!'
Haha
Now her X man seeing red on some Cyclops shit
So I got the green light to run through him: Qui Gon Jin
Had to look up who Qui Gon Jinn was, but thats kinda hot
Your watch a Casio, my watch a Roly
Cos I'm scoring all 'The Dollars' like Morricone
I run shit in your city, know that I'm cold saggin
Yeah, I'm the new Van dealer: Volkswagon
Lol tbh, I don't get any of the last 3 lines, but that's my own problem
Bucketloads of yay, we move that food
Famous for the China 'stash like Fu Manchu
Heat
Playas get replaced and no one notices: Blue Man Group
Cos I'm the Newman for the role like Cool Hand Look
Strong finish. Liked all 4 of those lines.
@ illipsis
He agreed to do this on cam, I guess yes means no
Cuz he ducked tape in a fix like the Red Green Show (FACTUAL SITUATION!)
This red/green, shows that I have to wreck amateurs
I’mma leave him six feet deep, that’s iambic hexameter (DAMN!)
Whoa. Ill flexing on him.
Got something sharp up my sleeves like it’s Ezio’s wrists (OKAY!)
You get beat until you missing like the metronome skipped (WOW!)
The power getting to my head, just like Tetsuo’s did (oookay…)
Catch me Solo with a brick ‘n the desert like it’s Episode 6 (DAMN!!!)
Damn, this is whole segment is fire
I been a monster up North, I’m on my Wendigo shit (FUCK BIGFOOT!)
The snub nose up close, he get an Eskimo kiss (*muzzle nuzzle*)
Haha
K you soft, I hit your girl and made her take the log (WITH HER EXPRESS CONSENT THOUGH!)
Threw your highland bitch the wood, I’d say it ain’t a caber toss (CRAZY!)
Talk that Scottish athletics shit I know nothing about!!!
Said that we would win, I bet this guy felt stupid
Cuz I’ll never see defeat like Rob Liefeld drew it (POUCHES!)
Arcane lore, I show him how it’s supposed to be done,
I took the Kurgan’s head off: there can only be one (I THINK, BEFORE MY TIME!!!)
Cool finish
Okay, so giving this one to Illipsis off the strength of his first 8 being so fire, especially the second 4, and me actually understanding the references. Not your guys fault if I don't get something, but ijs, it makes it harder for me to judge when I don't know what you're talking about. That said, The Kurgan's verse was good, the last 4 lines, in particular, and if I understood what he was doing I might see it differently, but Ill clearly got this one for me. Good shit, fellas.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by uuuununnn
honestly i dont even watch battles , i listen to the audio while staring into the mirror at my own reactions
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12-09-2016, 11:02 PM
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#26
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NEVERcultured.com/tag/br
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,618
Mentioned: 120 Post(s)
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i genuinely cannot pick a winner. i've tried like 37 times now
__________________
i write about battle rap for nevercultured
click the con face to learn yourself
Quote:
Originally Posted by ux9 u so fine
CIA does nit worry me , report me to the FDA and see what happens
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mulatto mutant
i just wrote 16 on the shitter what happened to real hip hop
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LukeWaltonisGoat
I'd watch cal battle a fucking Nintendo
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Quote:
Originally Posted by acidzero
dre dennis hit my phone, i was gettin some head
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12-09-2016, 11:06 PM
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#27
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Legendary tier
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Illinois
Posts: 9,626
Mentioned: 641 Post(s)
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I still don't get the bars
__________________
Ain't no real rappers that want to step to me Son! Theses rappers are more softer than a sesame seed bun. Speaking of seeds Star Almighty's Mom is digesting these nuts and up next to roast you guys is ekelon nope forget it he sucks!
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12-10-2016, 01:37 AM
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#28
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Registered User
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 309
Mentioned: 10 Post(s)
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Man, I was gonna try and get in on some text battles but your writing levels on here are insane.
Good shit to both. Ills writing always been top notch
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12-11-2016, 05:09 PM
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#29
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#NoHardFeelings
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Queens, NY
Posts: 3,814
Mentioned: 945 Post(s)
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Chea! Official #NHF recap of the "Overseas Onslaught"
Quote:
Originally Posted by KBomb
@ The Kurgan
Ill's chick only gives me a slight erection
Too basic to fuck with; Prime Directive
'Way she suck pipe's expensive' WAS my perspective
But now I'm over-the-head-game like it's isometric
Kinda seemed like a weird angle to start a battle with, but bar-for-bar this was crazy and read really well.
Still she told the crew smash and they turned the whore out
Made the whole gang split like 'We can cover more ground!'
Now her X man seeing red on some Cyclops shit
So I got the green light to run through him: Qui Gon Jin
Dope across the board, you're crusing
Your watch a Casio, my watch a Roly
Cos I'm scoring all 'The Dollars' like Morricone
I run shit in your city, know that I'm cold saggin
Yeah, I'm the new Van dealer: Volkswagon
Could definitely picture Wizard spitting something like this. Had to do some quick research to fully get the punches, but everything hit hard
Bucketloads of yay, we move that food
Famous for the China 'stash like Fu Manchu
Playas get replaced and no one notices: Blue Man Group
Cos I'm the Newman for the role like Cool Hand Look
Stash/Stache bars a little bit played to me (if I gotta be nitpicky), and I don't get why you didn't write "Luke" instead of "Look" for the last bar (ah, just read your comment, it was an accident) but other than that the last 2 lines ended the battle on a crazy note.
@ illipsis
He agreed to do this on cam, I guess yes means no
Cuz he ducked tape in a fix like the Red Green Show (FACTUAL SITUATION!)
This red/green, shows that I have to wreck amateurs
I’mma leave him six feet deep, that’s iambic hexameter (DAMN!)
Sheeesh, ridiculous start
Got something sharp up my sleeves like it’s Ezio’s wrists (OKAY!)
You get beat until you missing like the metronome skipped (WOW!)
The power getting to my head, just like Tetsuo’s did (oookay…)
Catch me Solo with a brick ‘n the desert like it’s Episode 6 (DAMN!!!)
Holy shit, illipsis spazzin!
I been a monster up North, I’m on my Wendigo shit (FUCK BIGFOOT!)
The snub nose up close, he get an Eskimo kiss (*muzzle nuzzle*)
K you soft, I hit your girl and made her take the log (WITH HER EXPRESS CONSENT THOUGH!)
Threw your highland bitch the wood, I’d say it ain’t a caber toss (CRAZY!)
Still spazzin!
Said that we would win, I bet this guy felt stupid
Cuz I’ll never see defeat like Rob Liefeld drew it (POUCHES!)
Arcane lore, I show him how it’s supposed to be done,
I took the Kurgan’s head off: there can only be one (I THINK, BEFORE MY TIME!!!)
Definitely the lightest 4 of the batch, but the last two bars were exceptionally appropriate
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Glad I took the time to look up every reference because bar for bar, this was the densest battle of the event and probably couldn't have delivered any more on that end.
Illipsis gets the W off the strength of a more dynamic verse, but Kurgan effortlessly delivered an amazing read himself.
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